When these things come early in a process of re-whatever (I’m re-ing a lot of things), it’s easy to fall back into bad habits. I did. I dropped most of my exercise, didn’t eat quite as I should. More or less went back to my before state of being.

Yesterday was the Canberra Times Fun Run, the first thing I had committed myself (and my wife and daughter) to do on this. During the week, I considered just not doing it. I figured that would show a fairly significant lack of spine. It also offered a good opportunity to jump back in.

So jump I did. Great weather, warm, a breeze, and 5-odd thousand friends to run with. Done in 1:18:43 according to RunKeeper. Not fast. I walked some of the hills. I probably looked more like Cliff Young than Haile Gebrselassie. Gazelle-like I am not.

So, 30 minutes slower than my best time for this event (matching that is my target for next year). But I did it. With my girls. Together. And that’s what’s important.

So, this week, I did a number of things that helped:

• tracked my calories, weight, resting heart rate and exercise using the awesome (Australian) software from CalorieKing
• joined the community at DailyMile where I can share my victories and battles with others
• did two RPM classes at my gym, and a long, stretch session that ironed out a bunch of kinks
• ran twice — just 3km each time, but you have to start somewhere
• had the local bike shop rebuild my tri bike and they’re in the process of rebuilding my road bike — they have spent too long idle hanging in the garage.

Of course, there’s always a setback — our digital scales died on Friday. So, we’re getting some new ones today and will upgrade to something like one of the Tanita Ironman series.

I’m going to talk about mentors next time, so stay tuned.

French Vanilla Slice — Abbotsford Slow+Food+Convent+Cafe by avlxyz

It’s always the way.

When I’ve tried dieting in the past and not been successful (which is most of the time), it’s about now that I fall flat. I imagine it’s pretty much the same story for many people who struggle with their weight. We have great intentions but we aren’t often motivated enough to stick at it when the inevitable cravings hit.

Today, I did okay — I took myself to the gym and did 45 minutes of flexibility work rather than hook onto a PB&J. By the time I got home, cravings gone. They’re still there in my head, so it’s a matter of pushing them down.

By the way, that thing up there is one of my favorite foods. I’m going to reward myself with one after the first 5kg have gone.

There are a bunch of great articles in there on the measurable benefits, especially for someone geeky like me, in keeping track of health factors by the numbers.

It’s working this way that has meant health, diet and fitness success for me in the past. Doing it again (and keeping at it) seems a logical step. Follow along with the numbers with me.

I’m personally keeping daily track of things like my scale weight and resting heart rate, and will get things like girths and skinfolds done when I’m at the gym. But I’m only going to post them weekly, on a Sunday, to illustrate progress. There might even be graphs!

I took it easy and shuffled, knowing that this would mean I got through. I had to walk about half of the last kilometer after my calves complained loudly (that’s what carrying a 15kg spare tire will do for you, folks), but I finished. And I was running.

Take a look:

3.02km in 22:39. Benchmark set.

This blog, completely separate from my business blog at acidlabs, will be the journal of my journey. It will be a discussion of sometimes painful things. A place for me to reflect and a place for me to look to you for support.

Beginnings

But first, let’s go back to the beginning.

I never had what you could describe as an especially close relationship with my Dad. I still don’t know why, and I still am not especially close to him. But today, we have a relationship that fits, even if at times we neglect it more than we ought.

Back in 1985, at just 43, my Dad had a serious heart attack. Followed by months of hospitalisation and ribs-cracked-apart open heart surgery, his road to recovery was long. Just a year later, he had a stroke. The aftermath of that left him, for a time, unable to communicate and resulted in years of physical and occupational therapy for him to recover to where he is today — pretty good, but not the man he was.

In fact, the heart attack, the stroke, and the changes both physical and mental that those events wrought upon my Dad destroyed his career and marriage. Previously a dedicated educator and assistant principal of the high school my sister and I both attended, Dad was compulsorily retired. He was no longer the man he used to be, and the powers that be running the career he’d dedicated his life to didn’t consider him capable of doing that job any more. All of this added up to drive he and my Mum apart. No blame, it just was.

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. Dad’s not too bad and he’s reasonably happy in himself.  He lives interstate. We talk a few times a year and see each other at Christmas. It’s all good. He even talks to Mum.

But I believe my history with my Dad, his illness and its consequences, and the things that have happened between us have not all been helpful to me as a man. They have predisposed me to certain behaviors and beliefs. And those predispositions have not necessarily been helpful.

Transitions

So what has that all got to do with me, except for it being history?

Well, it’s this. In two days, I turn 41. That’s just two years younger than when my Dad got sick. And if I keep doing what I’m doing, I’ll end up like him. Or worse. So I need to get fit again.

I’ve never been either a particularly talented athlete at anything, nor found it easy to be especially fit and lean. I’ve said on more than one occasion that I can walk past a patisserie and osmose the calories. My adult life has been a series of yo-yo cycles where I have a handle on my weight and fitness to one extent or another.

But not today. Today, I’m heavier and less fit than I’ve ever been. I’m 20kg heavier than when I met Alli and 15kg heavier than my fittest ever condition. I haven’t exercised seriously in at least three years. Maybe longer. I keep blaming events and circumstances — none of them particularly valid excuses, but certainly valid reasons (at least in my mind). I’m busy. I broke my leg (and wrecked a knee and ankle at the same time) two years ago. Blah-de-blah-blah.

And it affects everything. Deeply.

I don’t, and can’t, give enough of myself to my wife, Alli, and our daughter, Hannah. I don’t focus on them nearly enough. And it has knock-on effects. Despite being together nearly 15 years, we’ve had our ups and downs. The downs have mostly been attributable to stupidity, arrogance or ignorance on my part. And I keep making these mistakes. They’ve come close to destroying my marriage at times.

It’s those personal things which are the most relevant with respect to the calling cry from Gavin I mentioned at the start of this post. The most important things I have ever done as a man were to meet, fall in love with, and marry Alli and to create our incredible daughter, Hannah, with her.

But I haven’t always done right by them. And that lessens me as a man and as a human being generally.

Far less importantly, but still noteworthy, I also sometimes struggle with the business I started nearly three years ago now. And that’s incredibly foolish. It’s my livelihood. It supports me and my family. I should be giving it my all (within reason).

The change

So it’s time to change. Everything.

It’s time to get fit again. Because I know when I’m fit that I cope much better with everything — life, relationships, business, the inside of my head. That needed tenuous balance is infinitely easier to achieve.

It’s time to focus — on family, on friends, on life and on work. Far, far better than I do now.

I used to do triathlons. In fact, in 2001, I completed a Half Ironman triathlon (for those of you that are curious that’s a 1.9km swim, 90km cycle and a 21.1km run). I’ve never been especially good at them. Rather, I was a back-of-the-pack enthusiast. I’m cool with that.

Chatting to my friend, Derek Featherstone, on Twitter over the weekend, I committed to doing the Canberra Half Ironman with him in 2010. That gives me a little over a year to prepare for the event.

Like me, Feather has made the transition from fat bloke to fit bloke. Only difference is I fell off the wagon and got fat again. And it’s made a difference to my ability to do anything and everything.

The finish

So, it’s time to focus. To get fit. To give a shit about things and to care properly for the people and things in my life.

And, since I’m going very public on this, I’ll be looking to my friends and family to help me out here. To be my watchers. To keep me on the straight and narrow.

Can you help me out?